Capture at the Hive

“Eric!” his mother screamed from the bottom of the stairs.

“It’s MEGATRON!!!” Eric’s yell came back from his open bedroom doorway.

Mom sighed. “Okay…Megatron William Goldman, get your ASS down these stairs. NOW!”

Megatron, in the full formal battle dress of the Galactic Republic, arrived at the stairs. The evil Queen Mother at the bottom glared at him, saliva dripping from her gigantic fangs, bits of human flesh lodged between her massive, razor-sharp claws.

“I, General Megatron, only take orders from the Galactic President! Name, rank, and serial number is all you’ll get out of me!” Eric put his wrists together as if to give himself up willingly to the evil Queen Mother so she could hobble him with laser handcuffs, preventing him from using his utility belt to attempt an escape.

“Listen up, defender of the galaxy—“ Mom said in a low voice, through gritted teeth.

“UNIVERSE!” Megatron shouted defiantly, struggling against the invisible minions that were under her mind-wash power.

“Whatever,” she continued, “how about defending the kitchen from the overflowing garbage can?”

“A simple task,” Megatron said with distaste. “Too simple for the Defender of the Universe. Do you not see the greatness that is General Megatron?” he asked, pointing (with wrists still bound by the laser handcuffs) to the construction paper medals pinned to the chest of his uniform.

“When you are done ‘defending’ the garbage, how about exterminating the dirty aliens strewn all over your room? Captain Megalon’s troops would toss him out the airlock if they knew about the dirty underwear everywhere up there in his cabin,” she stated with a good deal of sarcasm.

“GENERAL Mega-TRON!” he wailed at her two-pronged insult attack.

“Well, it’s a pigsty in there kiddo!”

“This is an insult to my station! I’m the hero that saved colonists on Alpha-9! I’m the one whose heroic actions helped avert the slaughter of millions of innocents on Tau Ceti! This is—“

“This is me paddling your ass with extreme prejudice!” the evil Queen Mother shouted in a dangerous voice, full of finality, grabbing him by the shoulder and forced-marching him to the Hive’s bleak, pitch-black dungeon where the trash awaited.

“Let it be known that I hereby vow to avenge, or be avenged of this insult!” Megatron said, back to his defiant prisoner-of-war tone as he pulled the nearly overflowing trash bag from the can.